kathleen's story
I was born an asthmatic, the second of four children of an alcoholic single mother. As I entered my preteen years my asthma got worse. I had frequent visits to the hospital emergency room.
My mother made it very clear that I was becoming more of a burden to her. Sometimes she would leave me at the hospital to get home on my own. As you can imagine, it was a very scary world for a child.
I was angry, I became depressed, I felt no one cared.
As a result of these feelings, I stopped taking my medications. I knew this would make me very sick, or even worse. Then one cold day in October 1983, I had a blown respiratory arrest in my mothers’ kitchen. I spent the following days in the Intensive Care unit. My visitors were minimal. And my mother never came.
My social worker from the Department of Social Services came to visit me and told me I was going to be in a “placement”. I had no idea what that meant. I felt I was truly abandoned. Then, on December 23, I found myself in my social workers car in front Germaine Lawrence.
I was brought to one of the dorms and it happened to be the night of the dorm Christmas party. I felt like an intruder. But much to my surprise there were presents there with my name on them. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had received presents.
But Germaine Lawrence gave me things like scarves, hair clips, and lip gloss: things that every girl needs. They even gave me a James Taylor Album. “What 14 year old year listens to James Taylor,” I thought. Nonetheless, presents for me meant acceptance.
In the weeks and months that followed, it was a time of transition. Each day, Germaine Lawrence made me get out of bed! Each day, Germaine Lawrence made me go to school! Each day, Germaine Lawrence gave me chores to do. Each day Germaine Lawrence was focused on ME! At the time, I thought, “this place is awful!”
Yet, before this, nobody had ever cared enough to make me do these things. In school we got to sit on couches. Our history teacher, Bill, actually used toy ships to depict a story about the revolutionary war. He was willing to do anything to get through to us. It was a small sign that I mattered!
Everyone around me knew who I was. Everyone around me wanted me to do the right thing. That’s pretty powerful. I didn’t always want to talk about things at home, but when I did someone at Germaine Lawrence was there to listen.
The relationships I formed with the other girls are forever stamped in my heart. I learned a lot about trust. For the first time in my life, I could trust. We got to know each other and were there for all of our ups and downs, especially the downs. Day after day, people were kind and predictable. It was a whole new world for us. I started to realize there was hope. I started to believe in myself.
I was there for almost 1 year to the day. During that time it was all about nurturance, consistency, and acceptance. I was able to get a job. They helped me open my first bank account with MY name on it! For the first time in my life I thought that there was a future for me.
When I left Germaine Lawrence I had changed but was placed back in an unchanged world with my family. But the difference this time was that I knew I mattered, if not at home, then somewhere. The challenge of living in South Boston with my family was still very real. But I now had tools in my toolbox to deal with any problem.
When things were broken I could fix it. When something needs to be secured I have a tool for that…. And when something just needed to be tightened, I could handle that too.
I recently visited Germaine Lawrence and drove by my old dorm. There in the window were young girls in the same room, doing the same thing that I did 26 years ago, that changed my life forever. I thought to myself, those girls, they are going to be all right.
Today I am successful
Today I am a nurse.
Today I am a wife
Today I am a great mother
Today I am Alive
Without the gift of Germaine Lawrence I wouldn’t be here.
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